A funny thing happened on the way to the ballot box

With all the talk about voter fraud these days, imagine my horror at the prospect of being a culprit. My wife and I had dutifully filled in the bubbles on our ballots, exercising that most fundamental American right. Then I committed a potentially unforgivable electoral sin. I switched the return envelopes. Two perfectly legitimate voters, two perfectly legitimate ballots and one husband who apparently couldn’t follow directions. Was I about to become the poster boy for election irregularities? By the time I realized the error, the errant envelope was already sealed. I ripped it open, and placed the ballot in the correct envelope. But what about the ripped one with the wrong signature? A visit to Ventura County Elections headquarters in Ventura quickly put things right. I explained my predicament, showed my identification and was handed a crisp, new return envelope complete with a sticker bearing my name. No interrogation. No handcuffs. Not even a stern lecture about paying attention.

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