The perils of unforeseen cuisine

As a prelude to this article, I would caution you to keep in mind that we will be discussing a new food category I am calling Guillotine Cuisine. Guillotine will be defined here as a contraption you’d choose to face, rather than have to eat the unexpected, cringe-worthy food you’ve just been served. Here are some brief vignettes of my more consequential misadventures related to cooking, gleaned after 50 years of preparing food and at least as many years of having to eat it, even if it was unpalatable. When culinary mishaps occur, things tend to get messy – and I don’t mean because there are crumbs on the floor. The case of the mistaken steak My spouse and I lived in Scotland when we first married and had some trouble adapting to the language, a brain-numbing Scottish brogue. By some trouble, I mean we could only understand about half of what was being said to us at any given moment. One of those troublesome moments occurred while I was trying to converse with a butcher.

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