The Weekly Yak

The Writer attempted to use the newly established complaint system through the Office of Student Feedback this week. Unfortunately, my complaint about the treatment of birds on this campus was met with an automated response directing me to submit a 200-word reflection on personal strengths. The Writer is beginning to believe that, while Yik Yak remains the university’s most popular feedback mechanism, this new university initiative may take the Yak’s place as least effective method of feedback. More importantly, TU’s squirrels have reportedly begun organizing in response to the university’s continued neglect of campus wildlife. The squirrels are demanding improved acorn distribution, expanded tree coverage and an end to the university’s practice of allowing students to attempt to pet them. Several of my sources in the squirrel community indicate that the movement’s leader, Che Squirrara, has already announced a presidential campaign for 2028.

This excerpt comes from the named source. Read the original for the full reporting.