Trump’s mental decline causes him to forget he’s closeted

In recent months President Donald Trump’s mental faculties have taken a steep decline, leading to nonsensical rants, cozy naps at sporting events and — unsurprisingly — homosexual behavior. Many experts cite the recent midterms campaign where, among Trump’s talking points, he seemed to consistently fall back to complimenting and gesturing suggestively to describe the Ohio Republican Senator Jon Husted’s beefy and powerful ass. This single comment initially appeared to be a one-off before Trump continued to reiterate the point, alongside complimenting his “massive feet” and hands with “fingers like sausages.” Republican voters were puzzled by this repeated campaign message, likely leading to Husted losing his seat and being beaten by Democrat Senator-elect Sherrod Brown. Following the flip, Brown’s campaign team actually cited their lack of ass-focused commentary as the biggest driver for voters on their side of the campaign trail.

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